


Wounded Eyes

by zombiegardener



Series: In the Still of the NIght [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Emotions, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shiro is a Mess, keith being a good brother, lance being a good boyfriend, shance, so not fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-11 07:02:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11143290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombiegardener/pseuds/zombiegardener
Summary: Shiro's past comes back to haunt him in his dreams, but Lance has a plan to deal with it.Takes place after In the Still of the NIght, but it probably makes total sense as a stand-alone.





	Wounded Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Right, so it's fluff week and I wrote this.
> 
> I was planning on putting everything from In the Still of the Night as extra chapters, but this takes place sometime after so I kind of changed my mind. Also, the tone is different, it's from Lance's pov, I'd have to add a bunch of new warnings, and it's a lot longer than I was expecting when I started writing this at 4 AM. I'll still most likely put between-chapter bits as extra chapters, but anything else or divergent from the tone or after the last chapter I'll throw in as a separate series fic. I think.
> 
> This has barely been proofread, because I need to finish the work I'm actually getting paid to do.

It was the thrashing that woke him.

Lance was normally a deep sleeper when he managed to fall asleep, and a not insignificant part of him worried that he slept through a lot of Shiro's bad nights since his boyfriend had a tendency to go very still and curl into a ball when he woke from bad dreams. Tonight was different, though, and not in a good way. Shiro was tossing and turning on the small bed, accidentally shoving Lance against the wall in the process. Lance tried to remain mostly still but risked swiping a hand at the wall to turn up the lights, because the room was too dim to let him see what he was dealing with.

The answer to that question wasn't reassuring. Shiro's face, which normally smoothed out in sleep and made him look years younger, was tight. His brows were pinched, his jaw clenched, and his eyes were moving rapidly under tightly closed lids. He tossed his head away and jerked his arms out of the blankets, his face adopting a pained expression as he growled words that were too quiet to hear. Lance slowly lowered his arm and forced himself to take a deep, calming breath while he considered his options. Trying to wake him would be a mistake, he knew that. He also didn't try to touch him, even if not being able to reach out to his hurting lover was killing him. He was wishing that he could make out the words and use them to decide his best course of action when Shiro's eyes suddenly shot open.

His gaze was more panicked then angry, so Lance risked trying to talk to him. "Takashi, it's okay, babe, it's just a dream." Shiro's eyes shot towards him and the panic in their depths intensified ten-fold.

"Lance." And okay, good, Shiro knew who he was, but Lance never wanted to hear him say his name in that tone of voice again. The pain that was dripping from that one syllable had Lance reaching out against his better judgement, his own voice almost desperate as he whispered Shiro's name. His fingers brushing Shiro's prosthetic arm must have been some sort of trigger for the other man, because Shiro's eyes widened.

"Lance, no." The words were almost whispered, but the pain and panic were still there.

Concerned that his touch was making things worse somehow, Lance jerked his fingers away and tried to scoot back against the wall to give Shiro space to come back to himself. Shiro stared at him as he moved and then suddenly shot up into a sitting position. Before Lance could react Shiro grabbed his shoulders and threw him back against the wall hard enough to crack his head. He shook his head to clear it and blinked his eyes against the encroaching headache, because it wasn't important right now. Because if Shiro thought he was going to hurt him somehow, he needed to get out of this bed. Out of this room, maybe, though god knew how he was going to manage that on his own.

Thankfully that was apparently a problem for another day, because he opened his eyes again to find that Shiro had launched himself out of bed and was crouched with his back to Lance, head moving nonstop as if his gaze was darting everywhere looking for enemies in the still-dark corners. So apparently he wasn't the enemy here, assuming that Shiro still remembered who he was. Taking another deep breath, he tried again. "Takashi." This time he put a little more force into his voice, although he couldn't help the slight waver.

Shiro made a shushing motion over his shoulder without ever stopping his restless scanning of the room. "No, Lance, shh, baby, they'll hear you. They can't have you." He suddenly jerked upright and activated his Galran arm, sending a flash of purple light across the floor and up the walls and making Lance's heart stutter with something close to panic of his own. "You can't have him!" The roar actually echoed off the metal walls and raised goosebumps on Lance's skin.

He was scrambling for a small pager-like communicator that Hunk had rigged for him when frantic knocking sounded at the door. Shiro turned toward the sound with a hiss, slashing his activated arm and yelling words that were rapidly becoming unintelligible. 

"Lance?" The voice at the door was high and sounded like it was matching his own rising panic.

"Keith, no! Don't open the door! Just stay in the hallway!" 

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! Just stay there!"

Shiro had stopped and was staring at the door, as if the voice coming through wasn't quite matching the visions in his head. Lance had no idea if it would last, but a glance at the red square assured him that the door was still locked. Lance sent a silent prayer for possibly the first time to whatever long-dead Altean hadn't sound-proofed their rooms, because as much as he usually bitched about having to be quiet, right now he was grateful that they could hear Keith's voice.

"Takashi, cariño, it's Keith. It's Keith out there, okay? He's not going to hurt me. It's okay. It's fine." He knew he was babbling, but he couldn't think what else to do and talking was his refuge when all else failed. "Takashi?"

"Lance." The pain was still in Shiro's voice and he was still staring at the door, but he might have lowered his arm a bit. Maybe. Please, maybe.

"Keith?"

"Lance, what's going on?"

And yeah, Keith was full-on panicking now. Not that Lance blamed him. "I think he's still dreaming. Stay out there, but try talking to him. I think he's at least kind of listening."

There was a pause, and Lance could picture Keith trying to force himself to calm as he leaned against the door. "Shiro? Shiro, its Keith. You know me. You have to wake up, okay? Shiro, are you listening to me? I need to make sure that Lance is okay. Can I do that?"

"Lance." His name escaped Shiro's throat as a strangled whisper this time, and he jerked his head around to stare into the shadows.

Lance bit his lip at the muted panic on Shiro's face, feeling like his heart was breaking. "I'm okay, babe. I'm fine. You need to wake up and stop scaring the crap out of Keith. He's had a long day." Keith made an odd noise through the door, but Lance ignored him because Shiro had dropped his still-activated arm to his side and was watching him as he talked. "I mean, I totally beat him at practice this morning. Yesterday morning? I don't know what time it is, but whatever. It was a traumatic experience for him."

"Fuck off, cargo pilot."

Lance forced a grin onto his face and gestured at the door. "See? Totally Keith." Not breaking eye contact, he raised his voice again. "Seriously, mullet, keep talking."

Keith started talking again, and Lance only half-listened as he launched into something that had happened with the Blade that day. Or yesterday. It didn't matter, because most of his attention was on the sense slowing returning to Shiro's wounded eyes until finally something seemed to snap into place. Shiro jerked upright, his expression almost startled as his gaze jerked over the room before landing on his arm. He disengaged the deadly tech with a strangled cry, and for a moment Lance thought he was going to bolt until Shiro's eyes returned to him. They widened, the gray color turning to quicksilver as they filled with tears, and he all but threw himself onto the bed. Lance sat up to meet him, pulling him into a tight embrace as Shiro clung to him and buried his face in his neck. He raised one hand to run through the short fuzz of Shiro's undercut and pressed soft kisses to his head, whispering words of comfort he was only half aware of as Shiro cried and kept up a nonstop litany of barely coherent apologies that centered on the fact that he was Shiro's and no one was allowed to take him away. Okay, so no argument there.

"Lance?"

He raised his eyes away from the man in his arms back to the door, suddenly exhausted. "It's okay, Keith. You can come in now." He wasn't sure he would have let anyone else through the door with Shiro in this state, but Shiro trusted Keith- hell, they both did- and Keith was partially responsible for pulling him back from the brink. Besides, he understood the other paladin's burning need to know that they were both safe. After a moment with no response, Lance rolled his eyes. "And don't pretend like you don't know the code, because we all know you do."

The door slid open and Keith stepped inside, obviously fighting the need to run to the bed. "Yeah, don't go there. There's some things you can never unsee."

"That's why the door was locked, asshole. You have no one to blame but yourself."

"Shut up. Maybe I just wanted to make sure you had clothes on this time."

"Yeah, we learned our lesson when Hunk burst into my room one night when we forgot to lock the door." He glanced at Keith's horrified expression and turned his face into Shiro's hair to hide a slight and still totally inappropriate smile, because Keith was so easy. "Geez, Keith, get your mind out of the gutter. We were _sleeping_ ".

Shiro had stilled while they'd been pseudo-arguing. His face was still pressed into Lance's throat, but his breathing was evening out and the quiet litany of words that suggested he was still lost in his post-dream haze had trailed off. Coran's voice drifted through his mind with a reminder to maintain a sense of normalcy. He'd like to say that was what he and Keith had been doing, but honestly this was more their default mode than a plan of attack. Still, he hoped it was helping to ground Shiro somewhat, because he was running out of ideas.

Keith stilled as he neared the bed and stopped just out of arm's reach. His expression shifted toward uncertain, eyes still tight with worry. "Shiro?"

Shiro didn't immediately answer, but he also didn't tense up again, so Lance was counting that as a win. He started to move one hand lightly in soothing circles over the hot skin of Shiro's back, fingers tracing gently over the outlines of scars to smooth skin and back again. "Takashi? I think Keith really wants to come over here. Is that okay?" There was a moment of silence during which Lance was pretty sure everyone held their breath before Shiro nodded. He kept his face hidden, but his breaths against Lance's neck were still coming evenly and he relaxed his fingers somewhat from the death grip on his too-big t-shirt that Lance had worn to bed because it had been too much effort to grab clothes out of his own room last night.

Keith moved closer and slowly sank down onto the very edge of the bed. He still looked ready to bolt if need be, but his face was determined. "Shiro, are you okay?"

Shiro took a deeper breath and released it in a rush. "No." His voice was shaky, but the denial soothed the worry that was sending spikes of tension into Lance's building headache. It wasn't a lie, so Shiro wasn't shutting them out. Yet.

Keith must have reached the same conclusion because he relaxed minutely and turned his attention to Lance. "Are you okay?" The question was soft and made Lance's eyes widen in surprise.

"I'm fine." Keith shot him a skeptical look, so Lance tried for a smile again, not caring if it was a bit wobbly. "Really. He was trying to protect me. That's why I didn't want you to come through the door."

Something in his words must have broken through Shiro's haze, because he suddenly twisted around to stare at Keith with a horrified expression. "Keith?" He pulled his prosthetic arm free from its death grip on Lance's shirt and sat up straighter. His gaze transferred down to the arm and his entire body tensed. "Oh my god, Keith, I'm so sorry. I could have..." His voice trailed off to a whisper. His posture was so stiff it was making Lance ache in sympathy. He shot Keith a desperate look that he hoped the red paladin could read. 

Keith must have gotten the message, because he moved slightly from the edge of the bed to touch Shiro's arms. "Shiro, look at me. I'm fine. You didn't do anything, okay? I'm fine. Lance is fine. We're all good."

Shiro jerked his eyes away from his arm to Keith and stared for a long moment before turning his gaze back to Lance, eyes pained and obviously seeking confirmation. Lance reached out and took his closest hand. "It's okay, baby. Everything's okay." He didn't know what he expected, but Shiro just nodded and closed his eyes, falling back into the careful deep breaths he used to stave off a panic attack. He looked around his boyfriend's still form and caught Keith's eyes, but the other paladin looked as lost as he felt. He gave in and put his brain on auto-pilot, because that approach seemed to be working so far. "Besides, I'm pretty sure Keith and I together could have taken you."

Shiro huffed out a breath and opened his eyes to stare at him. Lance couldn't read his expression, but that was okay, because at least Shiro was reacting to them. "So _now_ you decide to work together?"

"Only for the greater good."

Keith let out a breathy laugh, but Shiro was just staring at him with that unreadable expression. "I... I could have hurt you, Lance." He glanced back at Keith and curled in on himself. "Both of you. You shouldn’t... we shouldn't..." 

Shiro's shoulders were stiffening again, and no. Lance leaned forward and poked him in the chest. "If the next words out of your mouth are anything along the lines of _'we can't do this'_ or _'you can't sleep here because I could hurt you'_ , I swear to god I'm going to shoot you in the foot during training tomorrow morning."

Shiro turned back to face him, expression hardening slightly. That was good, because Lance could work with anger and frustration a lot better than the lost expression that had been on his face. "I'm serious, Lance. This isn't a joke. I really could've hurt you!"

"But you didn't."

"This time! What about next time? Because there will be a next time!"

Lance sighed. "I know." He glanced back at Keith, but the other man just shrugged and nodded.

"You don't understand! What if-"

"Shiro." Shiro shut up and stared at him, possibly because he never used his nickname in bed. Ever. Lance took a deep, calming breath of his own. "No, I don't understand." He gestured in Keith's direction while keeping his eyes on Shiro's face. "*We* don't understand. We know that. But we're trying, okay?" Shiro's face was sliding towards stubborn. Lance sighed and slumped back against the wall, because apparently they were doing this now. "We have a plan, okay?"

That seemed to cut shut whatever argument Shiro was about to launch. "A plan."

"Yeah." Lance toyed absently with the hem of his shirt but forced his gaze to stay on Shiro. "It was... Not all that long after we started to sleep together most of the time, Keith asked me what I would do if you woke up having a flashback." He shook his head and let his eyes drift toward the wall as heat spread up into his cheeks. "I realized I had no idea. I mean, I knew it could happen, but I was just ignoring it?"

Keith made a noise of protest that surprised him into stopping. "You weren't ignoring it, Lance. You just hadn't thought of it."

He shook his head and continued to stare at the wall. "No, I didn't want to think about it, so I'm pretty sure that counts as ignoring it." His fingers tightened on his shirt and he forced them to relax. "Anyway, since everything I could think of came from tv or a movie and Pidge hasn't gotten around to inventing Space Google yet, which, seriously, shouldn't that be a priority? I mean, think of the usefulness for everyone."

"Lance." Shiro's quiet voice stopped him and he backtracked, forcing his gaze back to his boyfriend's face. "So we asked Coran if he had any ideas."

"We?"

"Keith and me." He sighed and glanced at Keith, but the other man was just watching him steadily in return. "He said that we knew you best so we'd have to determine what signs to look for, but he had some good ideas of what to do."

He glanced back at Shiro, who was looking somewhere between mortified and interested. "Like what?"

"Obvious things, probably. Don't wake you up. Don't touch you. Don't make quick movements. Give you space until you're back in your own head. Try to act as normal and as calm as possible." He shrugged uncomfortably. "Things like that. So we kind of came up with a plan."

Shiro blinked. "You two?"

"And Hunk and Pidge."

Shiro glanced back at Keith at his interjection, eyes going wider and face flushing almost scarlet. Lance loosened his fingers and risked reaching for his hand again, feeling a wave of relief when Shiro didn't jerk away. "Yeah, all of us, because we all know you have nightmares." He squeezed Shiro's fingers to regain his attention as the older man stared at them wordlessly. 

"So this plan." Shiro's said the words in the tone of voice he'd expect to hear from a horror movie, so he started to talk faster again. 

"It's pretty simple. If you're by yourself no one enters the room unless you can answer them. If I'm with you no one comes in unless I tell them that they can."

"Or unless he's screaming."

Lance released an exasperated sound as Shiro flinched because _not helping, Keith_ , but Keith just shrugged again and tried to look like he wasn't worried. "Don't look at me like that. You know he'd ask anyway."

"Whatever. Still not helping."

"What if no one hears anything?" Shiro's voice was so soft and almost small that it hurt.

Lance met Keith's eyes and sighed again. "Then I push this and someone comes running." He dug in the blankets and pulled out the small button he'd hidden on his side of the bed.

Keith snorted, redrawing their attention. "Yeah, which you totally should have done tonight."

"I had it in my hand, all right? I would have pushed it if I thought I needed to, but I didn't and you were here anyway." He shook his head and tightened his fingers around the button, trying to shield it from Shiro's horrified gaze. "I mean, this is all Doomsday prepping or something anyway. You know how Hunk and Pidge are. They get an idea and they run with it and don't know when to stop. None of us actually think it's necessary." He paused for a second and rethought that. "Except for the door rule. Apparently that was a good idea."

Shiro reached out with a distant and almost blank expression and pried Lance's fingers open. "It's not very big. You could lose it."

"It was a trade-off. This way I can hide it in my hand and it looks nothing like a weapon."

"Oh." 

Shiro's voice was way too quiet again, and he was staring to look broken, which wasn't the point of any of this. Cursing under his breath, Lance swung a leg over Shiro's thighs and took his face in both hands. "Babe, none of us think most of this is necessary. I just want you to know that we've thought it through. We've just... We know what you've been through and we want you to feel safe."

He was aware of Keith shifting closer and laying a hand on Shiro's shoulder, but he didn't release him. He needed Shiro to see that he trusted him and that he wasn't afraid of him. Which, inspiration. "I trust you," he told him quietly, staring into his eyes from inches away. "I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me, and I'm not afraid of you. But I don't want to hurt you either. I just want to help you. And I wanted you to know that I'd thought this through and I'm here anyway, because that's how much I trust you. I just hadn't quite figured out how to tell you yet." He released his hold on Shiro's face to brush his fingers into his hair and bring their foreheads together. "So don't even think of trying to kick me out, because I won't listen anyway."

Shiro pushed away enough to look at him. His eyes were shining with unshed tears again and the wounded look was still there, but the panic and horror were mostly gone from his expression. "Lance." He didn't say anything else, but Lance kind of thought he didn't have to, because there was a world of feeling in that one word. He didn't know if he'd ever heard anyone but Shiro say his name like that.

Shiro glanced over at Keith, who still had one hand on his shoulder. "Keith, I’m so sorry."

Keith shook his head. "There's nothing to be sorry for. We all care about you, Shiro. You've been there for me since the day I met you. Just let us be there for you."

Shiro made a soft sound and twisted to pull Keith into a brief hug. "I'll try." The words were whispered, but they still washed over Lance like a warm wave. He scooted away to shove the button back against the wall on his side of the bed and clapped his hands.

"So," he began, forcing his voice into an approximation of brightness as Shiro and Keith shuffled awkwardly apart, "anyone interested in trying to go back to sleep?"

"Not gonna happen."

"God, no."

"Well, it's," he pulled up the clock in the wall and squinted at the numbers, "wow, really late. Or early. We could go horrify Hunk and make breakfast."

That startled smiles out of both of them, but Keith was already shaking his head. "Can't. We've been banished from the kitchen."

"No, Shiro's been banished from the kitchen because he can burn water. I'm pretty sure we're still allowed in there."

"You turned the oven on anti-gravity, Lance."

Lance pointed at his boyfriend with a mock glare. "Excuse you, that was once! And Hunk showed me how to fix it. I think."

Shiro's smile was still small, but it was touching his eyes. "Still, no. I'm not eating nothing but goo for the next month because you exploded the kitchen."

"Fine."

"We could go spar."

Lance groaned, but Shiro was already sitting up straighter. "That's not a bad thought."

"No, that's his only thought." The mumbled words didn't have any malice in them, though, because he would do anything that would keep Shiro's attention at the moment. Maybe he could sneak some Altean aspirin while Shiro wasn't looking for his headache. They both glanced at him, but he waved them away. "Just give us a few ticks to change."

Keith pushed himself off the bed. "Good plan. At least between you you're wearing a whole outfit this time."

Lance glanced at Shiro's sweatpants and his shirt and smirked. "I said we were dressed. I didn't say how dressed."

Keith flipped him off as he headed towards the door. Lance felt a moment of pride and moved to get off the bed, but Shiro's hands on his arms stopped him. He turned back to meet Shiro's searching gaze. 

"Are you sure you're all right with this?"

Lance shifted to straddle Shiro's lap with his knees on either side of his thighs. His arms slid around Shiro's neck as Shiro's arms slid around his waist, locking him in place. The simple act of reassurance was one he hadn't realized that he'd needed, and it brought a smile to his face. "I'm sure. I love you, Takashi. All of you." He paused and released one hand from Shiro's neck to rub his thumb along his jaw. "I know you may never get over this, but I'm here for you, okay?"

"Okay." Shiro leaned slightly into the touch of his hand. "Thank you."

Lance leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Of course." He shoved off Shiro's lap and shot him his trademark grin. "Now, up. Keith and I still have to defend our honor and prove that we can totally kick your ass."

Shiro laughed as he stood up, the sound weak but real. "Two against one? That's hardly fair."

"Really?" Lance turned away to grab his own shirt from where he'd dropped it on the floor. "So you're admitting you can't take us?"

Shiro wrapped his arms around him from behind as he pulled off his stolen sleeping shirt and pressed a quick kiss to his neck. "Anytime, babe. Just bring it."

Lance's smile turned from cocky to real as Shiro turned away and sorted through his own clothes. It would be a long road, he knew that, but he was confident that they'd get there in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from _Diamond Eyes_ by Shinedown, which is a good Shiro song for me. I may regret posting this now later, but back to work I go!


End file.
